All You Need Is One
by Mines of Salmon
Summary: "I don't wear a cape, I don't fly, and I don't run away." Shinji clenched his fist "I punch." AU, Slight Crossover.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: This is the first in a series of three short chapters, after which you can expect some meatier ones. Also I know everybody and their moms has their own version of this, but few do it justice so...

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><p><span>Grime<span>

She was in a rush. Not for any of the usual reasons, like fetching coffee or delivering intra-departmental mail. No, on this day Maya Ibuki found herself on the receiving end of a promotion, and her first order of business was to rouse Miss Ayanami for a very important appointment with sempai!

The soft heels of her sensible shoes scurried in muted clicks down the chromed hallway towards the massive double doors. Taking the elevator up this far had taken long enough, and the extra distance to the girl's mysterious suite tested her endurance. Once she reached the threshold, she took a moment to compose herself, drawing in a sharp breath and knocking twice. No answer.

_Dammit.  
><em>

She checked the time on her phone, nervously thumbing the hem of her skirt with her other hand. Suddenly, the door creaked open, seemingly of its own free will.

_I guess it's okay then?_

The young woman cautiously slipped inside, marveling silently at the cavernous opulence that surrounded her. The room, it seemed, was covered in a creamy white-gold lacquer, not shining but glowing softly in what little light peeked through the curtains. Some distance away an ornate four-poster bed dominated a slightly raised platform, in which slept the diminutive form of the First Child herself.

"Umm, Miss Ayanami?" she squeaked, holding her clipboard tightly to her chest. She waited for a few seconds, then cleared her throat to speak again. That was when the voices came. An unearthly chorus of monotones washed over her and the curtains parted in a blinding wave of light.

"Good morning, Ibuki-san" they said.

When Maya finally opened her eyes she saw the young girl in her nightgown, staring curiously at her with intense red eyes. She was also hovering a few inches above the ground.

"Rits- _Doctor_ Akagi," Maya corrected herself forcefully, looking away as she felt the mental probe "wished to speak with you before your appearance this morning."

"Yes, of course." Even her whispers trailed echoes in the back of Maya's mind, and she shook her head to dispel them. She no longer wondered why the girl was largely left to her own devices, secreted in a tower like a princess of ages past. However, that would imply that she was the one being protected from an external threat, and it was well known that the First Child could more than handle herself.

_The longer I stay, the more I feel like it's us trapped in here with her_.

But Maya's good nature wouldn't let her harbor those bad thoughts either. Really, she should give the girl more credit. After all, where would the city be without its sworn protector?

The girl, uninterested in Maya's ruminations, floated over by her wardrobe and flung the doors apart with a flick of her wrist. Hanging in the center of various dresses and gowns was of course the girl's premier outfit. It had originally been a flight suit, the experimental sort given to pilots of stealth bombers and astronauts and other things way above Maya's pay grade. Over time though, the girl had it tailored to her exact measurements, and it certainly showed. In another whisk she slipped into it like second skin, feeling her arm through the slightly reflective material. To Maya's distaste, it seemed that she'd been cutting off bits of the fabric and exposing more skin, going so far as to have a "boob window" as she heard Makoto call it. To some, it might have been downright risqué especially considering her age, but none of them were about to correct her.

_Besides, it isn't like the cold bothers her._

The final piece of her ensemble was the billowing navy blue cape that she hid in the back, reserving it for official occasions.

"I am ready" she declared.

One very awkward elevator ride later, Rei Ayanami arrived at the good doctor's office as Maya scampered away.

"You wished to see me?" the pale girl asked. The blond stopped typing for a moment, putting out the last stub of her cigarette.

"Just a brief check up, I wouldn't want to keep the Commander waiting." The girl nodded and took a seat opposite her desk while Ritsuko pulled out a thin tablet and opened a recording program.

"Bi-monthly Patient Check Up" she spoke after hitting 'record'. "Medical Chief Ritsuko Akagi presiding. Please state your name and affiliation."

"Rei Ayanami" she spoke coolly "Current S-Class Rank 1 Hero."

"Known aliases?" Ritsuko's half-smile betrayed her amusement as she felt the girl attempt to make passing prods and pokes into her subconscious.

"Officially recognized by NERV: The First Child" she began "Officially disavowed by NERV: Baby Blue, Ice Queen, and White Death. Rating pending: Wonder Girl."

"I suppose you'll be happy to know that 'Wonder Girl' was approved by a two-thirds majority" the doctor informed her.

"This is satisfactory." Rei allowed the corners of her mouth to turn up slightly. "Girl" wasn't that far-off from "child", but that the commander had actually listened to her request brought her a feeling of warmth.

"In any case, let's move on. Overall physical condition?"

"Satisfactory."

"Satisfactory in terms of improvement as well or…?"

"Satisfactory." Rei repeated.

"Alright" Ritsuko flipped a page dramatically, it had been some time since she'd had to deal with the girl and her "quirks". "And what of your abilities?"

"The submission of the weak-willed is of no consequence" Rei stated with just a hint of pride. "Many of our sorties into robberies and the like have been resolved peacefully even with the Second's belligerent nature."

"And of your offensive capabilities?" Ritsuko really had to hand it to the commander, there was no way in hell she thought that pairing the girls would ever result in anything other than unmitigated disaster and yet here they were.

"Thriving in heat's absence and fighting mainly warm-blooded mammals allows for unique advantages." Ristuko looked down at her desk momentarily, spying the spiderwebbed tendrils of frost that crept out from the girl. A neat party trick sure, but Ritsuko was left unimpressed.

"Yes, that's quite the demonstration Rei. Any contact with alcohol or other drugs?"

"The commander allows me a glass of wine at dinner every evening."

"Yes, yes I'm well aware of your standing with him." She brought down her pen perhaps with a little more force than she'd intended.

_Of course he has time for her_.

In another second she felt the shimmering haze of voices at the edge of her thoughts, and looked up into the girl's slightly glowing eyes.

"Stop that. _Now_." She ordered.

"You seem distressed, Doctor. Is everything alright?"

_Can't afford to lose my nerve right now, especially not around her_.

"Yes, yes" Ritsuko took off her glasses and dismissed her question. "Now Rei I trust that you're a responsible young woman and I know the commander can vet that so I'll let you off now and continue this session after your appearance."

"Thank you, Doctor." Rei offered her curt nod and stepped out of the office, leaving the woman alone with her thoughts.

_That little bitch, she really tried to read me_.

All NERV personnel had been thoroughly briefed on the nature of the First's "powers", but mentally steeling one's self against them was something else altogether. In truth, Ritsuko just didn't want to waste her time with what essentially boiled down to a mere formality. As far she knew, the girl had never caught so much as a cold and possessed physical durability yet unmatched. She glanced down at the paper again, frowning at the ridiculousness of some of the questions.

_Average interaction with boys her age? Permission to perform a virginity test?_

"Talk about control issues" she muttered, lighting up another cigarette. If Gendo wanted to make a mockery of medicine in his institution that was all well and good but each passing day she found it harder and harder not to laugh at the unofficial "to protect and serve" slogan that had been plastered everywhere. Shrugging in apathy, she returned to her work.

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><p>"Don't worry honey, you're gonna look absolutely <em>gorgeous<em>" the stylist declared in a campy flourish. The commander stood off to the side, watching as the various attendants poked and dabbled at the First Child.

"As long as she maintains a balance of power and courtesy" he warned.

"And nothing says _fierce_ like a coat of Coral Blue #2 Semi-Gloss."

"Actually," Rei interjected "I'd prefer Coral Blue Num-"

"Showtime in five minutes, everyone!" Maya called from the dressing room door. That one statement sent the make-up team scrambling again, obscuring Rei's form in a cloud of cosmetics. At the two-minute mark, the stylist wheeled her around, and Rei cupped her mouth.

"I'm _hot_" she proclaimed.

"That's the idea, sweetie."

She smiled into the mirror, turning her head slightly. Oh yes, this man had _no_ idea what he'd just done. The rest of the staff quickly escorted her into place, and before too long, the cameras were rolling.

"Hello citizens" she spoke into the lens, letting her allure permeate the room "Wonder Girl here!" She flashed an uncharacteristically enthusiastic smile.

"When I'm out patrolling the streets of Tokyo-3, I hear a lot of things you know."

On the screens around her, still images and videos of Rei in full flight and apprehending criminals sprang to life.

"So let's get one thing straight: we're waging a war on crime!"

Pictures of masked men armed with guns assaulted the viewer.

"On drugs!"

More pictures, this time accompanied by narcotics and surly men in prison uniforms holding up black slides.

"And on those who threaten our very way of life!"

Many more pictures, all taken within the last week, of veritable monsters and men with similar powers killing and razing buildings to the ground.

"NERV Inc. works around the clock to make sure that our streets are safe from these savages, but we can't do it alone!"

Rei stood up dramatically, conjuring wind to make her cape flap majestically behind her.

"We need YOU citizen!" she pointed her finger directly at the camera. "So if you think you have what it takes to work with the best" she was joined on stage by various other heroes employed by the association "our doors are always open! Apply NOW!"

A fast talking man quickly informed the viewer of the various liabilities and restrictions, culminating in a reminder that this was indeed a paid advertisement for NERV Inc. The response? Immediate.

All over the city, in every room and shop window where a TV calmingly buzzed, the denizens of Tokyo-3 sat, transfixed. Before the week was up, it would be counted among one of the most successful morale campaigns of the year, ensuring big bonuses to NERV's upper echelons. For now, however, Rei stood alone as the rest of the members congratulated each other on a job well done.

"Excuse me, sir" a non-descript man whispered into the commander's ear "There's been an incident, the Second is in need of assistance."

"Of course" he responded firmly. "Rei," Commander Ikari called her over "Please go and retrieve your partner."

Frowning inwardly, Rei forced the nearby window open, and disappeared in another breeze.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: My schedule's weird so don't be surprised if one chapter pops up in a few day's time and the next comes at 3 AM the following Thursday.

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><p><span>Foreigner<span>

The teen rolled her head around, savoring the satisfying –crick- of her neck as she loosened up her shoulders.

_This…_

She sloughed off her windbreaker and hat, letting her golden red tresses run freely down her suit-clad back.

_This could be fun._

"Hey uhh you!" one of the event managers called her from the doorway "We go live in five, what didja say your name was?"

The girl slipped her cherry-red synchronization clips on one by one, their horny motif lending her a diabolic air. She swished around; slightly disappointed that she could not bring her cape to wave dramatically alongside her.

"They call me" she thrust her hands onto her hips "The Succubus!"

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><p>"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, BOYS AND GIRLS, IT'S TIME FOR THE MAIN EVENT!" the only well-dressed man in the darkened arena boomed into the mic, answered by the drunken roar of the crowd.<p>

A crowd member stood up from his seat in the dim chamber, cupping his mouth with his hands. "BRING OUT THE FRESH MEAT!"

This, of course, immediately led to the other patrons in the stands to get up and start chanting in gruff baritones.

"FRESH MEAT! FRESH MEAT! FRESH MEAT!" they went, banging on tables, chairs, and walls rhythmically.

"IIIIN THIS CORNERRR" the announcer resumed with a flurried hand motion "WEIGHING IN AT A STAGGERING HALF TON OF MEAT, MUSCLE, AND WHOOP-ASS, ITS THE CRUSTACEAN SENSATION, THE TERROR OF THE DEEP, AND OUR RETURNING CHAMP, GIVE IT UP FOR CRABRANTE!"

The crowd's cheers drowned out the rest of his speech as the steel gate on one side of the fighting pit crashed open, revealing a truly massive -_holy shit that's a huge fucking crab_- as Asuka would later describe it.

At fifteen feet high, the half-man half crab managed to peek over the top of the arena walls, making the crowd silently thankful for the additional lengths of electric mesh above that.

"AAAAND IN THIS CORNERRRR, A CHALLENGER APPROACHES" he gestured to the opposite side, where a lone figure stood, dwarfed by the huge hybrid of man and crab. "STANDING AT FIVE-FOOT-SIX AND CLOCKING IN AT 130 POUNDS, DON'T LET HER FOOL YA FOLKS THIS GIRL MEANS BUSINESS, SAY HELLO TO THE SUCCUBUS!"

The crowd clapped of course, some with more enthusiasm than others. A good bit of the audience liked Crabrante and relished the opportunity to come every week and see him quite literally claw people apart. The remainder, however, whooped, hollered, and whistled as the shapely young woman strutted out in a skin tight jumpsuit.

"LEMME SEE YOUR TITS!" A random called out, sending waves of chortling laughter rippling outwards.

Anger bristled inside her for a second; of _course_ this place would be filled to capacity with assholes. These dregs circling society's drain were exactly the sort who tended to ignore the legality of an underground fighting ring, among other miscellaneous things like differences in age and consent.

"_PUNY HUMAN_" Crabrante roared, stomping his oddly human-looking feet. Asuka turned to face her opponent, his eye-stalks whizzing around "_I WILL CRUSH YOU!_"

She grinned and put her hand forward, flicking her fingers in a goading pose.

"LET'S GET READY TO RUUUUUUMBLE!" the announcer cried.

_Ding_

Crabrante wasted no time, opening with a savage charging strike meant to obliterate slow opponents. Asuka jumped, landing with precision onto his arm and taking in his confused gape.

"What," she teased "you don't like it when the girl's on top?"

Enraged, the overgrown arthropod withdrew his claw, opting to strike her out of the air with the other. Sensing the tension in the limb, she somersaulted off and suspended herself in space.

WHOOSH

The girl maintained her smarmy grin as the wind from the blow harmlessly ruffled her hair.

"Oh yeah, I should mention that I can fly" she glided around him, shrugging her shoulders in a mocking gesture "No big deal."

"_GRAAAGH, YOU TALK TOO MUCH!_"

The beast whirled around, his mandibles clicking furiously. Without warning, he knocked her out of the air and pinned her to the ground, applying crushing pressure.

"Took you long enough." Asuka let out a stifled yawn.

With her hands, she held onto the underside of his claws and concentrated. Immediately, the crackling sound could be heard accompanied by the enticing scent of cooked crab.

"LOOKS LIKE THINGS ARE HEATING UP IN THE ARENA FOLKS!"

_Asshole! I'm the one who gets to make the fire puns!_

"Time to turn up the heat!" she shouted, hopefully loud but definitely annoying enough to reach the crowd. Ignoring the groans and Crabrante's terrified shrieks; she tightened her grip and engulfed his arms in withering flame.

"_WRRRAAAAAGH!_" wailed the monster, spraying the arena with blood and sputum "_I HATE SUPERHEROES!_"

With another bellow, he pulled back, sacrificing both claws to escape a fiery end. Asuka's face lit up in glee.

_I almost feel bad for the freak._

"_I'LL EAT YOUR LIMBS!_"

_Well… almost._

Waving her hands around, she maneuvered the claws above her, turning them into a pair of giant flaming telekinetic gauntlets.

"I'm on fire!" she cackled. "Well, I guess you are now too."

The now-armless Crabrante charged in vicious animal desperation, assuming that his armor could absorb blows from his own claws. Well, you know what they say about assumptions…

The first strike was a searing cut deep into his reddened carapace, staggering the creature long enough for the next one. Staring down at his own claw embedded in his innards, he never noticed her bringing down the other like a monstrous spear.

"HYAAAH!" she cried, impaling his head dead on and leaving the flaming limb stuck in the bloody hole where his neck used to be.

"_Ooooh_" the audience cringed. Even some of veteran fighters looked surprised as others covered their mouths in shock.

"YEOUCH, THAT'S GOTTA HURT!"

The crowd continued to look on as Crabrante's macabre corpse stumbled around for a few seconds, his body not yet having registered his brain's destruction. With a triumphant flick, she tore the claw out and floated it above herself as a gory trophy.

"WINNER: THE SUCCUBUS!"

Much to Asuka's dismay, the crowd clapped only half-heartedly, still reeling from their champion's bloody end. She tossed the arm aside, right on top of the beast's still-twitching body, and lazily sauntered over to the announcer.

"_Alright alright alright_" she grinned, sliding her palms together "So who's payin' me?"

"Well since everyone in the bar bet against you," a nearby bookie answered "it looks like... all of us."

"Fine by me" the teen shrugged, now staring down the rest of the patrons. "Cough up."

"Fuck you!" a man in the stands yelled "That wasn't no fair fight!"

"_YEAH!_" the mob added.

"I ain't never heard a no redhead gaijin sucky-bitch before!" Another cried, "Who says you ain't one a them Janitors?"

The room got very quiet, and a fuzzy patch on Asuka's suit peeled away, revealing the stylized fig leaf logo of NERV Inc.

"UH-OH FOLKS, LOOKS LIKE THERE'S A PROBLEM WITH THE LEGITIMACY O-"

She swiped the microphone from the announcer's hands, having lost her patience.

"_Fair fight?_ You stuck me in there with a _huge fucking crab_ without even knowing I had powers!"

"Hey we don't judge" the bookie cut in "you wanted a shot and paid the buy-in so I wasn't gonna stop ya."

Murmurs of agreement rose throughout the crowd, who turned their attentions back to Asuka.

"That still doesn't change the fact that we don't fuck with Janitor scum" he spat in her direction.

"Who are you callin' scum, asswipe?" she took a position atop the announcer's podium. "I'm Asuka Langely Sorhyu, S-Class Rank 2, motherfucker. Now who the _fuck_ are you?"

"I'm the one who's gonna wring your neck you little bitch!"

"Hello! Do you _see_ what I did to him?" The girl pointed frantically at Crabrante's smoking corpse "What the hell makes you think you stand a chance?"

"You can't take all of us at once!" A rough-and-tumble bearded type rose from his seat, advancing on her along with several other goons.

"Oooh I'm so scared~" she whimpered derisively "Big Bad Mister Mid-Life Crisis and his crew are coming to get me with their bare squishy hands."

_He just got shit on by a girl in front of the whole bar, no way he's backing down_.

And sure enough, the men rushed forth in barely-contained masculine fury, intent on overwhelming the girl with sheer numbers. She ducked the first punch, jabbing her attacker in the stomach before wheeling around and cracking one behind her with an elbow.

"That all you got?" She knocked two heads together and kicked a third square in the nose "I'm not even breakin' a swe-"

_DONG_

She lost her words, thoughts, and movements in the periphery as her body reeled from the shock of being hit by a – _fucking metal pipe the size of my arm_- as the after-action report would detail.

The men bum-rushed her, quite literally as after she found herself at the bottom of a sweaty, middle-aged dog pile she also felt a not-so-subtle grope along her left buttock.

_Oh it's fucking _on _now_.

She closed her eyes and snapped her fingers, and the heap exploded outwards. For a few moments, the men hung suspended in the air, along with the various tables, chairs, and beer glasses. Many, many fragile beer glasses fully capable of splintering into painful shards.

"Disgusting."

They fell, and amid a multitude of groans, the doors crashed open to reveal a ghostly young woman flanked by two men in suits.

"Hey!" Asuka waved with a grin, wiping some of the blood off of her forehead "I was wondering when my you'd show up to join the fun."

"The commander reported that you required assistance." Rei surveyed the crime scene, along with it's thoroughly incapacitated suspects. "This does not appear to be the case."

"Oh these guys?" The redhead gave one of the prostrate men a light kick, making him groan "Piece of cake. Just some low-key case I was taking care of."

"Low-key" her partner repeated in a deadpan voice, observing what remained of Crabrante. "Did you plan on including this casualty in your report?"

"Since when do freaks count?"

"Asuka-"

"Calm down, Wonder Girl, I just won a wrestling match against twenty goons twice my size. I haven't exactly had the time to do a write up."

"Still, these are important matters that must be accounted for. The commander would be most displeased if an unjustified death tarnished NERV's image."

"Unjustified my ass, he had multiple outstanding warrants on him for _murder_, Rei. The guy cleaved some poor kid in half for doodling on his shell."

"That is rather unfortunate" Rei recoiled somewhat, remembering the Section-2 mop-up squad's report on the incident. "At the very least you could claim self defense."

"Knew I could count on you" the second nudged her in the ribs "You know one of the these fucks had the nerve to call me a Janitor? Christ, this is all 'cause of the commander and his stupid 'clean-up crime!' posters everywhere. If I don't get a cool name then what's the point in going on?"

"I suppose there is some truth to your arguments" the albino floated around the other girl's back, eyeing the new name stenciled on the suit "…_The Succubus_."

"Oh yeah" Asuka scratched her head, noting the slight but steady drip of venom into her voice "Got a nice ring to it don'tcha think?"

"Asuka, we are designated names for a specific purpose. Now I realize that you may harbor some distaste for yours but there are proper protocols that must be followed."

"Yeah I know fill form 15-C and submit it to Department K-12 as per Section blah-di-blah-di-blah" she gurgled in exasperation. "Plus you and I both know that Red Eagle was always a shitty name."

"You could always go back to being the Second Child."

"Ah, she's got a sense of humor! Did Daddy finally break down and buy you one?"

Rei rolled her eyes at her partner's antics, but chuckled lightly nonetheless.

"Let us go, Section-2 will handle the rest and I'd like to get back to the Geofront as soon as possible."

"I thought the commander was too busy with his press conference and all for a standard debrief."

"He is, but there's an open bar and according to preliminary reports the major is going 'hog wild'." Rei replied with a conspirator's grin.

"Oooh can't wait!" Asuka matched her smile and careened out the door before launching herself up into the air. "Last one there's a rotten egg!"

Rei's eyes narrowed as she shot upwards, joining her friend in clouds above.

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><p>AN: I saw some you guys had questions so I'll take the time to answer them here

UltimateTouken: Rei and the rest of the cast are actually a little older than canon in this case. I tend to keep the characters' ages purposefully vague to avoid confusion and contradicting myself later on, but in this fic all of the children are now "young adults" and you're free to imagine them at any age between 15-19. I might get specific in the future but we'll see how it goes.

StraightEdgeWingZero: You got it man.

Ads.A1: Always good to have feedback, especially from someone who actually read through my other fic.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: And now we begin our story proper. I'll also be doing some minor revisions on Chapter 2 due to some pig disgusting proofreading errors I overlooked in my hastiness to get this fic off the ground. Feel free to leave any questions/comments/etc.

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><p><span>Spacehead<span>

Commander Ikari lowered his hands onto his desk, and Misato Katsuragi felt her stomach drop in tandem. She, the First, and the Second sat before the imposing man in various states of disarray.

Rei adjusted the sullied cotton patch covering her bloodied right eye, using the other to stare at the ground in a mixture of confusion and guilt.

Asuka tapped her foot on the floor impatiently, twirling the singed ends of her hair between the torn gloves of her suit.

Misato was at a loss for words, holding her aching arm against the old scar that ran down her chest.

_I'll take whatever you got old man, we're lucky to be alive._

The city above carried on, though its battle scars were still fresh. Sirens wailed and acrid smoke tainted the otherwise blue sky. And in the middle of downtown, a gargantuan black body bled rivers of blue ichor into the cracked streets.

Snarling in anger, the commander removed his glasses and leaned forward to address the three "heroes."

"I want to know _everything_."

_Earlier that day…_

Shinji was nudged awake by the Section-2 agent seated beside him.

"We'll be arriving at Tokyo-3 in just a few minutes, Mr. Ikari."

The boy nodded, eyes trailing over the rolling hills beyond the windows of the bullet train.

_Mr. Ikari, that's a new one._

Back home, Sensei and the townsfolk had always addressed him as Shinji. Even with his father's official demeanor, he was never anything but cordial with his only son. Gendo's visits were few and far between, but Shinji understood that he was a busy man.

"Son," he'd said during their last meeting "are you sure this is what you want?"

"You and Mom founded NERV to help people, and it's only right that I stand by that."

Gendo hoped that his face didn't betray his discomfort at the idea.

"Shinji, being a Hero is more than just putting on a cape and wearing the badge. It requires a certain… finesse, certain talents and abilities. Do you understand?"

"I understand, Dad." The boy looked somewhat crestfallen. "Can I at least come to Tokyo-3 to see you and the Heroes in action?"

"I don't see why not." He laughed ruffling the boy's head. "Come see me when you think you're ready."

But that was two years ago. Two years before Shinji Ikari finally found something he was good at. He cracked his knuckles, his leg jittering in anticipation as he remembered the last words Sensei had told him.

_Knock 'em dead, kid._

Then the lights went out and the train came to a screeching halt. Shinji instinctively braced himself against the seat in front as the compartment lurched and the other passengers erupted in a flurry of shouts. Next to him, the agent grunted into his earpiece.

"We're stranded just outside city limits!" He grabbed the boy's arm and gave him what he probably thought was a reassuring nod. "What the hell's going on? Is it an earthquake?"

The evacuating passengers dashed outside, pointing and screaming at the smoke pouring out of the glittered skyline.

"Call in one of our birds, I've got a VIP in need of immediate evac!" the agent demanded. "Loaded for bear my ass, all we need are two seats!"

Through the soles of his feet, Shinji felt a distant, measured rumble.

_Sure doesn't feel like an earthquake._

Above, the whine of VTOL engines could be heard. Disembarking from the train, the boy shielded his face from the dirt kicked up from the thrusters. Through his fingers, he could see a red fig leaf stenciled on the side of the boxy, fish-like craft.

"Change of plans, Mr. Ikari" the agent led him towards the doors. "Please step inside and we'll continue by air."

"But what about those people?" Shinji yelled over the engines, pointing to the travelers still milling around the train.

"Rescue operations are already underway" he pushed the kid inside "but the Commander specifically asked that we escort you to the Geofront immediately."

Shinji nodded reluctantly, trying in vain to strap himself into the seat's complicated harness.

"Boy you two sure are lucky we caught ya" the pilot drawled over the PA. "We just got the order from the FOB to scramble all available units."

Shinji looked around the cabin, examining the stone-faced operatives clutching assault rifles seated opposite him. Not wanting to risk eye contact, he turned his head to the wing, which was adorned with rack upon rack of missiles and rockets.

"Are you sure this is just an earthquake?" he asked the agent.

"Yeah, don't worry kid we'll have you safe and sound in no time. Trust me."

Which he did. After all, he was just one kid. And these… these were professionals.

* * *

><p>"Hey, I'll trade you my chocolate pudding for that box of Pocky" Asuka offered her partner, wiggling her eyebrows encouragingly. The pale girl mulled it over for a moment before replying.<p>

"The pudding _and_ some your tuna sandwich."

"You drive a hard bargain Wonder Girl, but I accept."

The food switched hands and Asuka continued humming softly as their legs dangled over the edge of the skyscraper's roof. It was another cloudless day in the endless summer, but the crisp breeze kept them both from frying in the angry sun.

"So who're we supposed to pick up anyway?"

"I take it you ignored the subject profile completely?" Rei chastised her.

"Been busy wrapping up that fighting ring case" she shrugged in between mouthfuls. "Gimme a break."

"It's the commander's son. He's supposed to be visiting for a few days." The blue-haired girl looked at the digital display on her suit's wrist. "His train should be arriving in a few minutes actually."

"I didn't know the commander had a son."

"Most don't. But the commander sees this as an opportunity to introduce him to NERV and the vital work that we perform."

"Which essentially translates to me and you being playing babysitters for some rich brat."

Rei couldn't hold back the laugh, but composed herself quickly.

"Perhaps, though his file indicates that he is about our age." She touched a finger to her lips."But if he is still a brat then it will be amusing to see the major suffer along with us."

"Our age, huh?" The redhead leaned forward, intrigued. "What else does it say?"

"See for yourself." Rei dropped a manila folder into her lap, which the other girl promptly swiped.

"He got any powers?" Asuka asked after flipping through various pages.

"No, all accounts suggest that he is a rather reserved but otherwise normal teenage boy."

"Ugh, bo-ring" she stuck out her tongue, turning to photo collage of young Shinji. "He's so fucking _scrawny_, and does he wear anything besides that stupid uniform?"

Rei kept to herself, preferring to fix her gaze on the horizon.

"I don't know, but even those without our abilities have much to offer society."

"That's cute, you memorize the rest of the NERV brochure too?"

The albino was about to counter with her own witty retort, when a slight tremor shook the building, sending the box of candy tumbling over the edge.

"This friggin' country I swear. Can't walk to the store without an earthquake rolling through."

"That wasn't an earthquake." Rei's voice took on a grave aspect.

"Oh so you're a seismologist too now? Alright Richter, enlighten me then."

Ayanami stared at her quizzically.

"Hello? Charles Richter? Co-architect of the Richter magnitude scale?" Asuka waved her arms, annoyed. "Dammit, I didn't graduate college with a degree in physics to waste references on the likes of you!"

_WOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooo_

Both girls clutched their ears as the city-wide alarms went into full effect, the blaring klaxons overwhelming the young telepath and her German partner. After several seconds of suffering the deafening wail, they cautiously stood up.

"Aw fuck!" The Second growled, wiggling a finger inside of her ear. "What the hell was that about?"

Rei squinted between the buildings, swearing that she could see _something_ moving between the high-rises. The First Child suddenly did something she hadn't thought possible since her early forays into super-heroics: she shivered.

"_Definitely_ not an earthquake."

Locking eyes, the city's two protectors nodded and kicked off towards the source of the anomaly.

* * *

><p>If Shinji had to guess, he would have to put the creature at around 15 stories in height. However, this neat little factoid currently lay tucked away in a dark mental recess as he held on to his seat for dear life.<p>

"ROGER, LITTLE BIRD INBOUND AND READY TO ASSIST!" The VTOL's pilot shouted frantically into the headset, doing little to conceal his own fear. Clearly, the beast's sheer size was more than a little out of their comfort zone.

"Hey asshole, I've got a VIP here who needs outta here now!" The agent tried to gain his attention.

"FUCK YOU PAL, I'M NOT LEAVING THESE MEN FOR DEAD!" The co-pilot shot back.

It appeared in the water at first, the eastern shore batteries reported. Intermittent shouts and gunfire were heard, and then the line went silent. Now they weren't just listening to the fight, they were smack-dab in the middle.

Shinji didn't think it was possible for the soldiers around him to look more jaded, but those who weren't wide-eyed with terror wore the face of a man who'd seen enough for several lifetimes. Though he wasn't in the cockpit proper, the boy could hear the battle-net reports all the same.

"_Alright Little Bird, you are cleared to engage over._"

"THE BLOCK IS HOT, WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR SOLDIER?" The co-pilot screamed at the weapons officer.

"_Friendly fast-movers six o' clock high, check your fire over._"

"I CAN'T GET A LOCK-ON SIR, OUR THERMAL'S FUCKED!" The gunner replied "SWITCHING TO ROCKET PODS!"

Shinji was treated to the ashen clouds of cordite clogging his airways as the VTOL fired volley after volley of fire-and-forget rockets at the beast. Following their example, the other flyers in the area opened up as well.

"REPORT, CORPORAL!"

"WE DIDN'T EVEN DENT THE FUCKING THING, SIR!"

_What a waste, just call in the damn heroes already._

In truth, the barrage elicited but a curious look up from the monster, which had largely ignored their efforts up until this point. Shinji growing frustrated with his inability to get a good look from his position, unstrapped himself and stretched his head over the soldiers. The VTOL bucked, but he managed to catch a glimpse of its dark, sinewy profile, capped with a birdlike ivory face resting above a dull red orb.

If he concentrated, he could hear it breathing, its "chest" rising and falling in tandem with gill-like constructs on its abdomen. When it exhaled, it did so with a lion's bass and a whale's majesty, a truly alien and guttural declaration of war.

With surprising dexterity, it lifted its arm and shot out a lance of pink light through its palm, annihilating a nearby VTOL.

"SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT!" Their pilot veered erratically to the left, trying to put as much distance between them and the beast as possible.

The craft went into a nosedive, seemingly bent on crashing into a nearby apartment complex before stopping mere meters away from death. Shinji, unstrapped and ill-prepared for the abrupt halt, shot forward and careened into the cabin, eventually stumbling head-first into the windshield.

Rei balked, here she thought she'd just saved a random squad of soldiers from their fiery doom, only to come face-to-face with _the commander's son_ grinning awkwardly at her from the other side of the bullet-proof pane. Shaking her head, she let go of the craft's nose.

_I don't have time for this._

Concentrating, she focused on the pilot's eyes, bending the man to her will.

_You, take this craft to the Geofront immediately. Ignore all other orders._

The man nodded, and Shinji traipsed back into the cabin to see the ghostly young woman in the white suit sail away.

"SIT THE FUCK DOWN!" The boy's handler shoved him back into his seat. "YOU PULL A STUNT LIKE THAT AGAIN AND YOU'RE DEAD!"

Shinji wiped the spittle from the man's rant off his face, but remained silent.

_At least the heroes are here to handle it. _

* * *

><p>Asuka couldn't handle this.<p>

Bomb-wielding terrorists? No problem.

Packs of mutated, feral animals? Easy-peasy.

A murderous half-ton crab? Friggin' cakewalk.

But THIS? This goddamn… _thing_ that ate missiles and streamrolled tank battalions?

It was, she had to admit, a little out of her league.

She threw cars, rubble, used telephone poles as jumbo spears but she might as well have been tickling the fucking thing for all the effect it was having. Even the combined bombardment of an entire Air Defense Squadron only succeeded in pissing it off.

"RAAAGH!" She was beyond furious, her initial taunts and insults had long since degraded into primal fits of rage. Clapping her hands together, she launched a searing gout of flame directly at the monster's red core, only to see her efforts roll harmlessly off a barely visible hexagonal shield.

Sachiel, for his part, regarded the girl much in the same way a human might a mosquito: tiny, insignificant, but _definitely_ annoying. Swinging wide, the creature brought its claw down to swat her, cleaving through another set of buildings in the process. Expecting its telegraphed blow, Asuka flew up into Sachiel's face, perching herself astride the space in between its "eyes."

Stretching out, she managed to place a hand on the surface of each inky void, snarling as she felt the formless buffer that thwarted her before.

_If this doesn't work…_

Clearing her head of all distractions, Asuka Langely Sorhyu channeled her remaining energy through her arms. Slowly but surely, she felt the protective shield give way to the blistering flames, and she laughed like a woman possessed.

"HAHA, WHAT'S THE MATTER BIG GUY? CAN'T TAKE THE HEAT?"

Having had quite enough of the irritating zit on its face, Sachiel simply picked up the squabbling girl between its analogue of a thumb and forefinger. Blinking curiously, it sent her flying away with a disinterested flick.

Rei Ayanami hovered in place as she watched her friend tumble end over end through the sky before crash landing, carving a deep gouge in the asphalt.

_How reckless, yet inevitable._

Wonder Girl shook her head in disappointment but returned to her fighting pose. After all, there was still a fight to finish. Molding the moisture in the air around heri nto icy spikes running down her arms, she turned to end Sachiel's rampage…

_Thankfully, I seem to have maintained that element of surprise._

…and caught a sheer pink lance the size of a school bus in the eye.

* * *

><p>Shinji recoiled in horror from the cabin as he saw the two girls bravely fight against the titanic beast below. He nearly whooped when he saw his blue-haired savior come to the other's rescue, but his jaw slacked when the monster then proceeded to effortlessly dispose of the pair in under a minute.<p>

"WE GOTTA MOVE MAN, GET YOUR ASS IN GEAR!" The co-pilot yelled to his partner, who coasted the craft lazily in the hostile airspace.

"I am directing the craft to the Geofront as instructed" he replied in a monotone, his eyes glowing softly.

"GAME OVER MAN, GAME OVER!" Another soldier whimpered as he watched ship after ship crash violently in the wake of Sachiel's destruction.

"THE HELL'S WRONG WITH YOU, GIVE IT HERE!" The co-pilot attempted to wrench the controls away from his brainwashed partner, causing the ship to climb.

The young Ikari, meanwhile, clenched and unclenched his fist anxiously.

_There's gotta be something I can do!_

Shinji stood up, brushing off the beleaguered Section-2 Agent's cries. A battle Tokyo-3 was decidedly losing still raged underneath, and if, _if_, he could do something, then he'd just have to take that chance. He squeezed in between the soldiers at the edge of the craft's door, gulping at the nauseating bird's-eye view.

"Hey!" the agent grabbed him by his shoulder, unknowingly pushing Shinji just a bit closer to the edge. "What the hell do you think you're doing, kid?"

Though the skill would develop in time, Shinji was simply not very good at morale-boosting speeches or even witty one-liners on the spot. Pressed for time, he settled for honesty.

"I dunno."

The VTOL lurched forward violently and then Shinji's legs caught nothing but air, his choice having been made for him.

* * *

><p>Misato Katsuragi was late. Scratch that, <em>very<em> fucking late. A beer run and chance hookup with Kaji late last night left her hopelessly playing catch-up on what was probably going to go down as a "career-defining" fuck up. Not that her chosen profession usually revolved around ferrying children through the city, but everyone knew that when the commander asked you for a favor personally, it was likely an offer you couldn't refuse.

_Can't complain about the traffic though._

The immediate area around the first sighting of whatever mysterious creature was raiding the city had been cleared by a radius of several kilometers. This left the inside perimeter populated only by the beast, retreating soldiers, and idiots.

_And this idiot's shiny new car!_

Misato shifted into a higher gear and gunned the engine towards the train station, the purported destination of the boy she was supposed to pick up along with Rei and Asuka.

"Speaking of which," she muttered to herself, activating the dash-mounted phone. "Wonder Girl, Red Eagle, I'm about to link up with our VIP, where are you two?"

Nothing but static. It was a bad omen as the First made it a point to _always_ answer on the first ring, but Misato held on the wheel resolutely. She managed another three blocks before the asphalt became too damaged to drive over, forcing her to turn around to find another way through. The back streets were choked with rubble, but the main thoroughfare was remarkably clear.

Flashing a frenzied –_might just get out of this alive_- smile behind her sunglasses, Misato burned rubber once more.

CRRRACK!

A massive green two-toed foot thundered in front of the blue sports car, making Misato swerve frantically and wonder aloud in peppered expletives how such a giant managed to sneak up on her. Losing control, the auto barreled into a department store, leaving the driver to drunkenly stumble out.

Wiping the grit from her eyes, the purple-haired major quickly realized the futility of her actions, the shadow of a gargantuan green sole engulfing her. Tucking herself into a fetal ball, she wept bitter prayers into the dusty street as her end came.

And then it didn't.

The monster tripped, on nothing it seemed, and slammed face first into the pavement. What few pilots were still in the air noticed its clawing strikes at point beside its shoulder, all pretenses of calculated destruction forgotten. Misato, climbing onto an upended van, watched as the nigh-invincible creature struggled on the ground

_Oh God, it's one of the girls!_

There was a single sickening crack, and she saw Sachiel's jerky movements subside in intensity. Shifting spasmodically onto its side, it let out a final cetacean wail, and was no more.

Resisting the urge to whoop, Misato galloped as quickly as her slight limp would allow to the titan's fallen corpse.

"Asuka! Rei!" She called out, her cries echoing across the fresh battlefield. "Anyone!"

Even at fifteen meters away, she held her nose and forced her lunch down, the dark fluid streaming from the body giving off a rancid odor. The woman had to stop and cup her mouth, however, when she saw what caused the monster's sudden death.

A hole, about five feet in diameter, had been punched clean through the beast, starting at the tip of its spine and ripping explosively through the now-dormant orb in its belly.

_Okay, that rules out any possibility of NERV involvement_.

Putting the thoughts of who or what exactly was capable of killing something on this scale in one fell swoop in the back of her mind, Misato set to work. Squinting and estimating the trajectory of an object to come down at such an extreme angle, she followed her gaze to a nearby crater, which itself was rife with the stench of alien death.

Cautiously peeking over the rim, she found neither Red nor Blue to greet her. Instead, it was a soaked brown head, quickly followed by curious blue eyes and a speechless grin.

"Hi," he offered her his shaky hand, still dripping with Sachiel's remnants "I'm-"

"I-I know!" She sputtered, the day catching up with her. "I know who you are."

"Oh, cool."

He quickly retracted his hand and attempted to clean it on his pant leg, only succeeding in smearing the oily ichor around.

"Hey wait a sec" he shook a finger at the nearly-catatonic woman, pulling a crumpled picture out of his pants. "Misato Katsuragi, is it?"

She nodded dumbly, hoping- No, hoping and _praying_ that she hadn't sent gag jerkoff material to the boy she and the rest of the city owed their lives to.

"We should get back." She managed to scrounge a few bits of her composure. "The commander probably wants to know about all-" Misato gestured at the stinking carcass "- this."

"Ah, say no more" the boy, slick with inky slime, clambered out of his hole and began walking alongside her. "So where's your car?"

"_Where's my car?_" She didn't know if the kid was trying to be funny or just plain stupid. "Some hero, you too good to fly now that you lost your cape?"

"Lost my cape? What the-" Shinji rubbed his face with his palms, breathing deeply. "Look ma'am-"

"_Miss_ Katsuragi" she interjected, suddenly feeling very self-conscious about her age. "Or Misato, whichever one you prefer."

"Right, Miss Misato. Two things: I don't wear a cape and I don't fly."

"Bullshit, what do you expect to believe? That you fell from space?"

"Well…" he scratched his head "it wasn't exactly space, but it was pretty high up."

Misato could only shake her head and laugh. She was getting too old-

_Hey!_

…too tired for this shit.

"Must've been going pretty fast to do any damage with these" she teasingly squeezed his rather spindly arms.

"It's not the size of the dog in the fight," his eyes took on a steely expression "it's the size of the fight in the dog."

Misato couldn't meet his gaze for more than a second without doubling over in laughter.

"Oh my god, that's adorable. Be honest, how long did you spend practicing that in front of a mirror?"

"A couple hours" he grumbled, kicking a pebble.

"Oh yeah, definitely going on your trading card and that's final."

"Trading card?"

"All members of the Heroes Association get their own limited edition trading card put into circulation." She recited from memory.

"I'm gonna be a Hero?" He asked, looking up at the blank sky.

"Shinji," she patted him on the back "you're gonna be a legend."

* * *

><p>AN: If you've got questions, I've got answers. Hopefully.

Never learned to code: Yeah, I'm a fan of some of their stuff too, though the whole "Shinji & Co. Get Superpowers" is sort of a subgenre unto itself around here, hence the creation of this fic. Though I've no quotes from that callipygian Superman to respond with, I think you'll be hard-pressed to find a worthwhile fic where a company that employs what amount to child soldiers isn't painted with at least a few strokes of gray.

graycoder: Yup, I originally planned to mention it in the description but decided to omit it and see how long it took for someone to point it out as I dropped bigger hints. So yeah, thanks for being a willing participant in that little experiment. There may be more references and a few cameos throughout, along with a larger emphasis on OPM's comedic tone, but the fic overall is overwhelmingly grounded in favor of Eva.

StraightEdgeWingZero: -shrug- Can't please everyone, but as graycoder pointed out, the other source I'm biting for this story isn't DC or Marvel but an online manga called One-Punch Man. I'll leave you to figure out what the title character's, and by proxy Shinji's, abilities are based on that.


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